Be Sure To Visit, Love Y'all

I've missed my little Blogger Monsters. With that said, I've got a message for you - I've moved! 
Yep, I miss writing for The Odyssey, of friggin' course, but what's the next best thing? To start a new journal of all the lessons life is trying to stubbornly hammer into me. So my new blog...hmm...well it's got a little less universal appeal (Kitty) and a whole lot more truth (Ash).
Chance By Chocolates
http://www.cbchocolates.blogspot.com

Much love to all my readers,
<3 Ash

a.k.a
...Kitty

Farewell Confessions

There’s college, and then there’s not college

These confessions are a bit delayed, apologies :/

Subconsciously I’ve probably been putting them off on purpose. I haven’t wanted to write my farewell confessions…

I’ll always be a sorority girl, sure, but who wants to replace keg stands with…downward facing dog?

A position you’ll strike during the Pilates class you monotonously attend EVERY Sunday between mommy & me daycare and lunch with a coworker that you only pretend to like.

Ugh think of all the activities that inevitably will replace the wonderful college ones.

Sleeping until 2p.m. > turns into > a 5a.m. alarm complete with a morning run to Starbucks with the hope that your boss links “venti white mocha” to “early promotion.”

Strawberry poptarts > turn into > Kashi GOLEAN granola bars that are only available at Whole Foods.

Your hot 4-inch platform pumps > turn into > 2 inch closed toe, nubbin-heeled slip-ons that guarantee a self-purchased cocktail at the bar.

FYI, bring a crossword to graduation

Man there are tons of things that nobody cares to tell you about college graduation.

Lesson one, bring something to do. Mine was miserably like 3 hours long.

Various factors contributed to this. A numb rear end...an empty stomach…that of which consequently brought about images of dancing breadsticks, for I knew Carino’s Italian was the post-graduation plan.

Eager to help out my fellow Ags, here are some tips regarding the type of equipment you’ll need in order to somewhat-comfortably enjoy graduation –

a fully charged cell phone, a decorated graduation cap, and a full stomach.

These things are a must.

May I also suggest –

an inconspicuous fog horn, bucket of fried chicken or sandwich party tray , coloring book and a twelve pack of Bud Light Lime.

I'll admit, walking across the stage IS all it’s built up to be, but the before and after can be...straight blah.

However, I did craft up a little something…a trivia game, if you will. It succeeded in keeping me embarrassingly entertained. It’s called-

Yell-whoop!-for-every-person’s-name-you-hear-called-whom-you’ve-never-met-but-are-fully-aware-of-their-life-happpenings-cuz-you’re-Facebook-friends.

Avoid the dumb

Kitty’s blogging days might not end here! (Hoping a heel click just happened rather than a thank-god sigh).

Yes, I’ll no longer have a set deadline for my articles, but writing has served as a therapeutic release for me, therefore keeping up with a personal blog should be beneficial and of course fun :)

You know, statistics say that things like reading/writing/etc. each day actually stimulates/exercises the brain in a way that strengthens neural connections (or even creates new ones).

A cognitive psychologist in England found that when elderly people regularly played bingo, it helped minimize their memory loss and boost their hand-eye coordination. It seems that Bingo helps players of all ages remain mentally sharp.

“G-36. I repeat, G-36”

…ha who knew?

Life after COASG

The details of this personal blog of mine are…a bit slow going.

ONLY because I’m hoping that they sort of just unravel as I go. Honestly my first instinctual description when declaring the tone or rather the…theme of the new blog was-

“It'll be a lotta...word vomit”.

Urbandictionary.com defines this as a point in a conversation where you say something that you really didn't mean to.

…which totally sounds like something I’d “favorite” on my taskbar.

Graduation Confessions

Class of 2011

Elders and their questioning...sigh.The standard graduation interrogation consists of inquiries such as

“So babygirl what’s your ideal job after you graduate college?

“Have you applied for any yet?!

“Where are you hoping to move to?”

 

Oddly, the one I’ve found most unsettling is

“Are you excited about graduating?!”

In my head I’m like, “Should I be? You’re old, you tell me.”

But instead I give them the answer I assume they want and say something peppy like “Counting the days!” or “Is that a trick question?!”

I’ve only been caught by one person thus far who has successfully read in-between the lines and called me out on my ambiguity. Another tally for Tim on the ol’ scoreboard.

Do I even know enough to be tossed out into the real world? I’m starting to feel nervous…QUICK list some impressive things you’ve learned over the past however-many years-

Earth has five different atmospheric layers…

dividends are portions of a company's profit paid to common and preferred shareholders…

homophones are words that sound the same but have different spellings/meanings like ant & aunt or prints & prince...

Phew, I retained something.

So, publically for the first time, my truthful answer – am I excited about graduating?!

Homophonically, “hale know”

“ity”

I always assumed that by the time my 16^th year of school rolled around I’d have thoughts like YAY! I CAN FINALLY ESCAPE! WOO NO MORE CLASS EVER!!

But nope.

I know that along with that little piece of rolled up parchment comes a bunch of things that end in “ity”

Responsibility

Maturity

Accountability

Reality

Punctuality

Vulnerability

Feasibility

Reliability

(just to name a few)

…I never thought three little letters could be so frightening.

$$$ 

I CAN say that I’m super excited about moving into a new apartment and decorating it in blues, greens, silvers and peacock feathers.

Also  about designing my new business cards…getting a bedazzled mini card box to store them in…buying big-girl business suits where the hemline hits somewhere below the knee…

Now, I’m not exceptionally awesome at mathematics but I was able to calculate the income I'll need to be making  in order to have the lifestyle I want fresh out of the A&M gates.

I’ll need to earn a minimum of $81,000 per year.

Oh dear...

better calculate the odds of that happening...
Ha umm like I said, I'm no mathematician.

More accurately, I'm no wizard :/

Fake it ‘til you make it

Yeesh. I'm nervous about this real-world business everyone’s gearing up for…

You too?
Good. Glad I’m not the only one.

I’ve prepared something to help us out though so don’t you fret :)
Here’s my little list of ways to appear smart until we get the hang of it.

1.      Have good posture

• At least if you sit up straight and look in different directions with one eyebrow cockily raised everyone will assume you’re too smart to even humor the conversation you secretly know nothing about.

2.      Watch the news

• Sounds easier than it really is. American Idol tends to trump CNN Newsroom with Don Lemon.

3.      Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy"

4.      Talk slow

• This could give off a vibe that says “I communicate slowly since I have to sift through so much knowledge in my head.”

5.      Sit on a park bench with a large novel

• Not your cup of tea? Try cutting a hole inside just big for enough your iPhone and get your Angry Birds on.

6.      Wear glasses

7.      Speak with a British accent

8.      Answer questions with a quote

• Q: Which societal problem plagues you the most Ashley?
• A: Nancy, I say forget what we’re told, before we get too old. Show me a garden that’s bursting into life.  (Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol :)

9.      Carry around a solved Rubik’s cube

Things they don’t tell you in orientation

1. College makes you fat.

2. Pot-luck roommates doesn’t necessarily = positive adventure.

3. Parking lot regulations aren’t friendly suggestions.

4. You’ll study more your first semester than you did your entire high school career

5. Ride the campus buses. Students ride them. Not creepy, carless homeless people

6. In class, try and sit next to a classmate of Asian descent.

7. Bring a jacket to the library. It gets cold.

8. Your personal success is #24,003 on a professor’s list of things they have time for.

9. Check out Amazon, eBay or Textbook Solutions before you pay full price for your textbooks at the MSC Bookstore

10. Always have a scantron and #2 pencil on hand