Modern day manners are lacking, this is no secret. Eat with your mouth closed, no burping in public, elbows off the table…easy right?
Sure, however these universally known practices aren’t fun to discuss. I’m referring to the wearing of house slippers in public, cell phone use during meals, inability to follow through on commitments…
…
nah nevermind already missed the beginning, no use trying to catch up now.
Now what was I saying?
Oh right, manners.
Let’s use my neighbors as exhibit A. Those inconsiderate little punks would always park in my parking spot.
My complex designates 4 parking spaces for each of its four residents. Typically I’m always the last one home so it's MY spot that get invaded with whats-his-face's vehicle. ugh.
I’d already partook in all Manners 101 had taught me - had the awkward confrontations...then moved on to the threatening...roommates threw a few drunken slurs at them on occasion...but the fools still had NO parking fear!
Needless to say, their fate was sealed. A tow truck was in their near future.
They uh…weren’t happy. I know this because of both the tension and pesky little reminders they sometimes leave me and my Rooms.
Today we were greeted by a half-eaten, miniature buffalo wing strategically located in the center of our welcome mat.
Break-up Etiquette February 20, 2011
Here’s the scenario:
You’re no longer Mrs. Frat due to irreconcilable college differences. You and Mr. Frat have called it quits and as luck would have it, his fraternity is throwing a huge bash and all your friends are planning to attend.
Well…cool.
The immediate repercussions when hit with this predicament are usually-
“Psh he can’t control what I do. I’m not going for him anyway, I’ll do what I please. No one else will be focused on the fact we just broke up”
…and other things of that nature.
Time to get real –
you catch a glimpse of him grinding all up on
girl-whose-been-trying-to-get-with-him-since-forever.
Huh, you may just find yourself…oh I dunno…
center dance floor pouring ALL the remaining contents of your beverage down the front of hussy's dress while screaming words at her you’ve only ever heard on the Jersey Shore.
What I’m trying to stress is, be mature. If you feel there’s a chance you could end up being THAT girl--
the one thrown out of the bar left with nothing but a few of homegirl’s hair extensions intertwined between your fingers--
then well...you might want to ponder that “not attending” button on the fbook invite a little while longer.
All I’m sayin.
The Accidental Text February 21, 2011
You send this text to a friend – “Okk I’ll come just tell me where y’all are”
Harmless right?
Nope, not in the slightest – you’ve mistakenly sent this text message to your ex boyfriend whom you haven’t spoken to in months.
Was this the result of a mass text gone wrong? Was his name similar to the intended recipient’s name making your phonebook the one to blame?
Doesn’t matter. It’s done. Over. You’ll forever wonder if he thinks you sent the text as a desperate attempt to contact him.
Unless he texts back.
Let’s make the plotline dramatic and interesting and assume he’s got a girlfriend.
She fires back something like-
“Get your own boyfriend b----“.
Whoa. Without hesitation you reply-
“Well naturally, seeing how I’ve already run through yours”
Kidding, you don’t send that. Mama taught you better.
Matter of fact, at that moment, mama’s voice begins to fill your brain with some of life’s lessons you were taught as a kid, “take the high road, if you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all…”
Girlfriend must not fully grasp those concepts yet…or worse, never learned them because for some reason she never made it through an entire showing of Disney’s Bambi?
Ok, ok, I’m being unfair, I mean I’m certainly no angel.
When applying this scenario to my own life, my honest first thought about being hounded by the girlfriend of my ex over a “purposeful” yet accidental text message would’ve been-
She’s silly to think that after all this time I’d even dream of purposely sending him a text like that…
mainly because I’d of come up with something wayyy better.
No comments:
Post a Comment