Ohhh remember the days when the afternoons were spent on the front porch in your rickety rocking chair…sitting atop a seat cushion that is only still recognizable as a seat cushion because well, you’re sitting on it. And you’re in a seat…
The days you couldn’t wait to sink your hands into a big bucket of K.F.C. fried chicken…nom nom nom.
Eh I don’t remember those days either. But I did pass through neighborhoods full of ‘em everyday on my way home from jr. high school.
Welcome to Willis, TX.
The land where it’s legal to drive your tractor down main roads and celebrate fancy occasions at the local Pizza Shack.
Hehe…
cough anyways, in true country-bumpkin form, the following events unsurprisingly played out…
(and then were promptly uploaded onto the world wide internet)
This started with him asking me for scissors-
Meet Austin. Austin has a huge sword...and notebook paper that needs to be cut.
Willis-born... truly a rare breed.
Meet Austin. Austin has a huge sword...and notebook paper that needs to be cut.
Willis-born... truly a rare breed.
Almost immediately, dozens of “likes” and funny photo comments began pouring in.
He wittily replied with “you say rare, I say resourceful”.
Finally I attempted to conclude the experience with –
“Regardless, there’s a pocket sized samurai sword less than a foot away from me”
….
-Chris Lara, Willis High School c/o '07
Did y’all do the whole pick-a-prof.com thing when it was around?
You could go online and see professor reviews and rankings…check out the grades they normally give out…gain access to all the tips and tricks former students have posted- which are helpful when hoping to ace specific assignments and tests.
Good news, that database still exists but its called something new...
Enter me! A campus representative for MyEdu.com (formerly pick-a-prof) yay!
Try your hardest to love and appreciate my attempt to nonchalantly sell you on this fabulous opportunity :)
So really, join because all the cool kids are doing it. Heck, all the non-cool ones are too and that should serve as greater motivation. Nerdy A+ students worship this site because of all the helpful class resources.
Now If i ever teach you anything, let it be this - do as the nerds do...for there is a reason that later in life they have a hotter spouse and bigger paycheck than you.
Sure the hard-core college nerds are often socially awkward...and always seem to have a very oily T-zone, but planting these types of people in your BFF garden is a wise idea.
Sure the hard-core college nerds are often socially awkward...and always seem to have a very oily T-zone, but planting these types of people in your BFF garden is a wise idea.
You see, you reach a peaceful point in life where one can identify and understand the likelihood that Dork McSmartson’s future could very likely be super bright and even excel at a faster rate than yours.
You can already see him in a corner office…lounging in his black, leather swivel chair…
whoops he accidentally spills a few drops of his Venti Belgium Latte down the front of his white Armani collar shirt…there was just no resisting the urge to do some aimless chair twirling that only went awry because he was clumsily gawking at his Jessica Biel look-alike assistant.
Wow...pretty posh set-up.
whoops he accidentally spills a few drops of his Venti Belgium Latte down the front of his white Armani collar shirt…there was just no resisting the urge to do some aimless chair twirling that only went awry because he was clumsily gawking at his Jessica Biel look-alike assistant.
Wow...pretty posh set-up.
But you know what? You’re fine. Just by being friends with him has scored you things like courtside tickets to Rockets games...an expensive watch for your birthday....
In time, you will without a doubt be amazing at what you do as well.
In time, you will without a doubt be amazing at what you do as well.
Until then, you know what else you can see in that posh set-up?
You.
You.
…nearby with napkins and a Tide-to-go pen. Latte stains don’t clean themselves.
Bet HE joined MyEdu.
The squirrel community on campus March 27, 2011
"A squirrel is just a rat with a cuter outfit"
- Carrie Bradshaw
Is anyone else ABSOLUTELY fascinated with the squirrel behavior that takes place on campus? Watching them is one of the most entertaining pastimes EVER. This is coming from someone who’s swam with stingrays, flown in a private jet, watched brothers stick entire fists in their mouth…
"A squirrel is just a rat with a cuter outfit"
- Carrie Bradshaw
Is anyone else ABSOLUTELY fascinated with the squirrel behavior that takes place on campus? Watching them is one of the most entertaining pastimes EVER. This is coming from someone who’s swam with stingrays, flown in a private jet, watched brothers stick entire fists in their mouth…
Exaggeration aside, I could probably sit on a campus bench and just watch them for a solid 11+ minutes. There’d be no question of whether or not I’d happily consider doing that if some student organization had the idea to sell squirrel-watching popcorn.
Basically, a campus dwelling squirrel will just be nibbling on an acorn doing his squirrel thing, meanwhile you’re purposely crossing that seven foot boundary line where they’re supposed to scurry off in order to maintain an appropriate distance away from you.
But they like, don’t scurry.
Instead, they’ll either ignore you or sometimes just peer up from their acorn and look at you with a face that seems to say “sup”.
It’s the oddest thing. I've actually almost tripped on a squirrel running fast past my feet who I’m pretty certain was in the middle of a game a tag.
Hmmm, there’s a sentence I never thought I’d say.
