Super Bowl Confessions

United we wonder February 7, 2011
I never feel more bonded to my fellow Americans than on Super Bowl Sunday.
No, not because we all gather together to celebrate our shared love for NFL football and potato chips.
But good guess.

Me, along with others like me, appreciate the Super Bowl for uniting all Americans through our inability to read Roman numerals.

Funny story- this year was Super Bowl 45, and I know this because I recently learned to read Roman numerals in order to pay respect to my Roman heritage.

I know you know I googled it.

Wanna pretend to watch the game? February 7, 2011
How ‘bout them Packers huh? I don’t have a favorite NFL team, so typically I’ll root for either-

A)The team the hottest guy in the room wants to lose (this is me forming a cute rivalry with the hope he’ll ask for a rematch…preferably at Olive Garden)

B)The team with the prettiest color scheme

C)The underdogs

This year however, I didn’t end up playing cheerleader for either team. Here’s why-

A) I, along with my present company, were all pretty football-illiterate

B) Packer’s/Steeler’s colors both blow

C) Like I said, due to the high degree of football-illiteracy surrounding me, knowledge about football team rankings was hazy.
For some it was nonexistent. For me it’s buried deep inside my brain cuddling up next to high school geometry.

I’m thinkin’ from now on our Super Bowl invite might as well be – hey wanna get together and pretend to watch the game?

Pat on the back for Hawk February 8, 2011
I happened to catch an interview that Green Bay linebacker, A.J. Hawk, was doing with ESPN and I’ve got to say - he must be great at dodging severe hits to the head.

Not only did he seem very well spoken and not nervous in the slightest, but it surprised me to hear a pro sports jock use words like “microcosm” and “adversely.”

So crap…I’m guilty of stereotyping. Another one bites the dust.
Secretly though, I uhh…kind of feel entitled when it comes to typecasting because I’m blonde (a.k.a. ultimate stereotype victim). It’s like, since I’m in the club I can say what I want? Mmmm…might need to ponder that philosophy awhile longer :/

With that said, I commend you A.J. Hawk. Keep fighting the good fight against stereotypes. I can only hope that your intellectual nature rubs off onto those who---

Yeah no I still don’t buy it, sorry just can’t. He’s got to have word-of-the-day toilet paper or something.

Aguilera Flubs National Anthem February 8, 2011
It’s true, Texas-native Christina Aguilera messed up the lyrics during the National Anthem prior to the Super Bowl. She sang “what so proudly we watched” when it should’ve been, “o’er the ramparts we watched.”

Needless to say, people weren’t thrilled and the mishap even sparked some crowd booing.

Let’s try and level with ‘ol Christina for a sec - I don’t have doubts that she didn’t practice enough or that she hates the U.S. or whatever other stories the media conjures up.

Y’all, it’s a hard song.
Sounds silly, but for some reason the order of the words throughout the song can get confusing. A lot of parts sound very similar. I’m just sayin.

Also, nerves have got to play a part when performing live in front of…oh I don’t know, A BILLION PEOPLE. Sorry haters, I guess I’m Team Christina. Oh you disagree? Think your opinion is better than mine? Getting a little upset and judgmental of others are we? Think it’s inexcusable to not have studied and know every detail regarding the National Anthem?
Okay you know what? You may be right. FINE. WHATEVER...
Quick question- what’s a rampart?

Boo ya.

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