Chili Chili Bang Bang

Coppertone Goddess April 10, 2011
Chilifest 2011!! A.K.A Snook-Sandstorm ’11!  

Now we all know that Mother Nature has been a bit moody this past year, but her behavior at Chilifest was kind of uncalled for.
I imagine she hangs out with friends like Santa…the Easter Bunny…Tooth Fairy…those kind of folk, and I’ll BET that this past weekend she bragged –
Ha, watch this funny thing I can do…”

This “funny” thing she did made everybody look like we’d been dipped in a bag of sand.
She withheld ALL rain, moisture, etc. from the air which made the Chilifest grounds a giant dustbowl.

I got home Friday night and was surprised to see I had switched ethnicities. There was dirt in every crevice of my face and neck.

While normally a transformation from a pasty white female to a Coppertone goddess would please me, I couldn’t get over that for the past five hours, I'd looked as if I had tried to paint on some kind of wolf-looking mask and failed miserably.

Solo Arrival April 10, 2011
Amongst my friends, it’s considered cool to arrive Saturday at Chilifest around 11am.
Amongst Ash however, it is not.
I’m not being that unreasonable, we’d been out on the grounds Friday night too.

Consequently, me opting for a late arrival meant finding a way to Chilifest solo since the girlfrans were already there.

So I park Veronica (my Camaro) at the Hall and boarded the bus.
Sure, I was getting stares that obviously said “why’s that chick alone? She must be the weird one her friends try and avoid” but I didn’t care. Those two extra hours of sleep were worth it.

I was glad to have a seat by myself, this way I didn’t have to make small talk with a random and instead could just sit and reflect on the epic day to come.
About four miles out, intoxicated girl sitting in front of me rudely exclaimed to the bus driver-

“You’d better drive faster or I’m gonna pee on your bus!”

Noticing that we were traveling on a bit of an incline, I leaned forward, politely tapped the girl on the shoulder and asked-
“Do you mind letting me know if you really are going to pee so I can lift up my feet?”

Haley C April 10, 2011
Like I said, I arrived solo/late to Chilifest thus my first mission was to find my crew. This took a good while since I ran into numerous buddies along the way. After about 2 hours, I had yet to find my BFF Haley.
I’ve always been aware of Haley’s immense popularity, but this notion turned into fact when I realized…

Haley is the Ferris Bueller of the A&M Greek world.

I was only having trouble finding her because I hadn’t thought to ask anyone where she might be.
I asked random people walking.
I asked a girl sitting in an overflowing beer cooler.
I asked an adult who was wondering around shirtless eating a turkey leg.
They were all able to tell me her most recent whereabouts.
So guess what happened in the next 6 ½ minutes?

Found her :)

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