New Year Confessions

Look better naked January 15, 2011
To this day, the catchiest billboard I’ve ever seen was one advertising Gold’s Gym. In HUGE bright, bold, yellow letters it read “Look better naked”.

Hilarious. Probably because it’s dead-on. It’s one of those truths that everyone thinks about but never says out loud. Hahaha man I just love those.

The Gym-Dedication Meter January 15, 2011
New Year’s resolution = weight loss. Duh. Isn’t it everyone’s?

What typically tends to happen is for approx. one week the gym-dedication-meter reads the words

On the second week the meter reads
Uh oh, commitment is beginning to dwindle…NOW what’s the meter read?!

Who cares. You’ve probably already eaten the meter.
Actually, you feel fine. You’ve succeeded in convincing yourself that opening and closing the pantry door IS a legitimate workout.

Don’t worry, you’ll get a Victoria’s Secret catalogue in the mail soon thus causing you to tear out a page with the hottest model on it and tape it to the front of your fridge. This tactic allows you to muster up the last little bit of motivation necessary to get you back in the gym the week before spring break.

ENDS 101 Professor January 18, 2011
Today I had my first ENDS 101 class and...well…it was interestingly weird. My professor lectured, that’s normal…spoke with a Colombian accent, that’s not. Hmm the whole thing was just very odd.

Oh did I mention he never got off his segway scooter?

Don’t make me do stuff, its syllabus week January 19, 2011
First day of spring classes and EVERY dang one has lasted the entire time! Ugh! Gimmie my syllabus and call it a day man. Made it to my senior year and NOW college wants to interfere with my social life??


Athlete-Astronomy Theory January 19, 2011
Today I noticed that there are athletes in a couple of my classes. I always giggle to myself when thinking about my athlete-astronomy similarity theory.
The theory states that sometimes athletes…well, they’re a lot like solar eclipses.

You see them the first day of class and then you don’t for a while.

22 years old. Cool. January 20, 2011

My 22nd birthday is in seven days. Since I’ve already conquered the most popular milestone (turning 21), are there anymore left? From here on out do all birthday cards have the word “old” printed somewhere on them?

Oh gosh…why God…why me…no…

WAIT! If you’re 21 you can rent a car BUT still have to pay a fee for being under 25.


Singles Awareness Day January 21, 2011

Apart from making greeting cards and chocolate boxes feel like superstars, Valentine’s Day is also a day of reflection.
Reflection on things like love, hugs, kisses, romance, snuggles, pity, remorse, self-doubt…

Wait what?

Yes, single people often view February 14th as more of a “Singles Awareness Day” rather than a lovey-dove-wuv day.
But hey, what better way to wallow in self-pity than on a couch date with Mr. Hershey Chocolate and his friend Mr. Giant Bag O’sweettarts?

V-day Gift Ultimatum
January 21, 2011
If I could only choose one gift for Valentine’s Day what would it be?

A ruby ring…a cute stuffed animal I’ll later name Fluffy…a couples massage…a poem written and read by your bf…


While all other options are super, there’s nothing like an embarrassing, yet sensitive sonnet that you’ll later post on Fbook to supply everyone with priceless/hilarious harassment for forever and EVER AND EVER.

Muahahahaaaa classic.

Birfday Month Confessions

Hey Santa, do you know Michael Kors? January 9, 2011
This year when the imminent question came from mama or daddy-
“what would you like for Christmas Pumpkin?”

TAMU sorority girls replied in unison-
“a gold oversized Michael Kors watch please”

This trend was spottable on girl’s wrists BEFORE the holidays, so come first week of classes I’m expecting a whole army of gold MK watch wear-ers to be sporting their new swag.

I’d like one, but when Mama Burns was approached with the subject I got this –
“sure angel, if you don’t mind the watch being your only gift…along with some Hello Kitty band-aids I already bought for your stocking.


Turns out these suckers range from $195-$495. I had my heart set on a gold/beige acrylic one for $300. Apparently the North Pole lacks the climate to support trees that grow money.

On a brighter note - I am loving the gold jewelry comeback. Pairing my gold Aggie ring with all my silver jewelry makes me feel fashionably uncomfortable. Like wearing a brown belt with black shoes.

Out with the Old, In with the Sparkle January 10, 2011
The first sorority meetings of 2011 are next week and EVERYONE knows what to expect. Okay I’ll give you 3 hints:

1. It sparkles
2. It sometimes makes single girls want to dig a deep hole and sit in it
3. It rhymes with shmemgagement

You guessed it! The engagement season was just recently upon us and now it’s time to see the bling it birthed.
Upon return from the holidays at least one ring pass, if not multiple, is expected.

In a nut shell, a “ring pass” is what happens when a chapter member gets engaged, passes her ring around for all to see, then tells the story of how she got engaged.

I’d like to take a sec to recognize that as an independent, single college female I can proudly/non-bitterly say that the whole wedding bliss umm thing is wonderful…really, a beautiful thing. SO happy for the couples…very excited…just loving the love…so excited...happy beautiful...


K I uh gotta go, I’m late for my therapy, I mean jam session with Taylor Swift

Bikini Déjà Vu January 12, 2011
The girls and I decided on Vegas for our LAST SPRING BREAK AS IRRESPONSIBLE COLLEGE STUDENTS! (tear).
Haha juuust kidding :)

So, what does this mean?
The hunt for the hottest bikini has officially begun!

Now, every girl is quick to type into their URL box but ladies, I’m going to go ahead and advise against this (quit pouting like you don’t already own 6+ VS swimsuits).
Do I have anything against VS? Of course not, I love their crap. Turns out, the 23 hot blondes on my same beach ALSO like their crap.

It’s true, bikini déjà vu isn’t as bad as say, dress déjà vu but nobody hopes for it and I’ll tell you why (the awful truth). Well…homegirl rocking your same neon pink two-piece might just be…rocking it a little harder than you are.

It’s okay, breathe, don’t dwell on past mistakes.
I’ve compiled a solution list of other bikini-shopping worthy sites to help you on your quest to be the next exclusively hot beach babe. * * * * * * * * * *

Welcome :)

‘Get-Girls-On-Your-Chilifest-Team’ Tactics January 13, 2011
Every year fraternities compete in persuading girls to buy tickets with their Chilifest team. Here are some things we consider…
(From least to most effective)

5. Reputation of visual appeal – pretty tent, pretty girls?
4. Closed-in build – a tent that’s enclosed by walls is appealing to minors
3. Free stuff with ticket purchase – t-shirts are a favorite
2. Food – quickest way to earn a girl’s attention is through her stomach
1. Cheap tickets – why I usually go with SAE

Just sayin.

Fratastic Confessions

Frat vs. Sorority Girl Spending November 19, 2010
Fattire can be expensive, and with Christmas soon approaching I’ve found myself wondering, who spends more? A frat-dad or a sorority girl? I’ve compiled a list to help figure it out. Here’s the basics-

Sorority Wardrobe:
Sperry Top Siders $79.95
Leggings $9.99
Nike Shorts $28
Stretchy headband $2.50
Sorority PR shirt $12
Northface fleece $165
Short Sleeve Columbia Shirt $40
Jon Hart Back-pack $126
Classic David Yurman Bracelet $525

Frat-dad Wardrobe:
Sperry Top Siders $84.95
Ralph Lauren Khaki Shorts $59
Wrangler Jeans $33.97
Ralph Lauren Polo Shirt $75
Short Sleeve Columbia Shirt $45
Northface fleece $170
Carhartt Jacket $95
Costa Del Mar Sunglasses $179
Croakies – compliments of a fun-loving sorority girl


Thanks Visa?

Concerned ‘Rents November 20, 2010
Parents of potential high school rushees, both girls and boys, are known for sometimes calling in and asking questions. I’ve gotten inquiries such as-

“Does joining a sorority make for a smooth transition from high school?” –Why yes. I found it much easier to make many friends in such a short period of time.

"Is it difficult balancing school work and fraternity engagements?” – Not at all. Every Greek organization’s first and foremost priority is academics.

“What is the reason for the red solo cups all grouped in a triangle?” - …

T-Swift November 21, 2010

Do you ever feel like Taylor Swift sort of…narrates your life sometimes? Like she just hovers above you writing down your life’s intimate details?

yea me too…

Is Logan’s the new Corner Bar? November 22, 2010

Corner Bar is kind of a distant memory for me. I used to always spend the majority of my Northgate nights at Corner and ALWAYS end the night there but now, Logan’s seems to be the new Greek-going hotspot. True, I am 21 now which means getting into a 21 and up bar is easier (notice how I said easier, not impossible) so I guess that’s the reason?

I only question this because I remember even at Corner seeing people that were 21 still there…which means they weren’t at Logan’s. Truth be told, even though the popcorn is stale most the time it still makes for one heck of an attraction. Which reminds me, I’ve been meaning to apologize to the Logan’s staff by saying-

“Sorry for the popcorn all over the floor. It’s much more fun throwing it into people’s mouths than placing it inside your own.”

Typical Lex November 23, 2010

Ughhh why didn’t I have my wisdom teeth pulled in high school like everyone else?? I’m back home recovering in Willis, Texas looking like a chipmunk missing all the almost-end-of-the-semester festivities.

I just text Lexie a picture of my face all swollen and she responded with “hahaha! The fat app!”


Greek Life Confessions

Once Upon A Rush November 15, 2010

As a freshman, I didn’t know what to expect on my first day of recruitment. All I knew is that I wanted every human I came into contact with that day to think at least one of the following:

1. She’s adorable
2. I’m in love
3. Gotta have this chick back tomorrow

Needless to say I was ready to impress.
Or at least fake it long enough to have my pick of any house 

K so I’m standing in alphabetical order, waiting to go into my first house. ZTA, I remember.
While I wait I begin looking around, observing my surroundings.

Gamma Phi house looks new...
Why one random frat house on this street…must’ve won a contest or something…
I wonder if these big yard letters are heavy…
Did that girl mean to wear those shoes…


My first time experiencing a female in Sperry Top-Siders.

“There must be some explanation” I remember thinking.
I had only ever seen these shoes on grandpas and my boyfriend’s dad. I didn’t know what was going on.
At the time I had no idea these funny-looking boat shoes sold for 80 bucks a pair.
More thoughts involuntarily followed:

“Out of all the hand-me-down shoes in the world why those?”
“Quit judging people you don’t know, It’s not her fault she’s poor and was forced to wear her dad’s shoes!”

During my intense reasoning I happened to also notice the shoes the girl behind me had on. Sperrys. Girl in front of me, Sperrys. Rho Gamma, Sperrys.
I suddenly found myself on Sperry Island. My Aggie foam flip-flops no longer seemed as cool.
Why had I not seen this trend until now??? They're so ugly where do you even buy them?!! Are they required?!! Why are they so masculine?!! I MUST HAVE THEM NOW!!

Wait what?

Fratdaddy:Sorority Girl Ratio November 16, 2010
Sometimes I see the most gorgeous girls with funny lookin frat guys. Do they want a New Orleans invite that bad?
Hehe. Joke. Only kiddin.

Ahem on that note, I happen to know that college campuses everywhere are actually confessing that the girl/guy student ratio is noticeably uneven. Turns out there are way more female college students than male.
Unfortunate cause and effect here = college guys aren’t committing to serious relationships. With a line of beautiful girls to woo, why would they?

In TAMU’s case, a girl probably feels she must be everything Mr. Frat wants/needs in order to beat out the fierce competition, but what happens in the end? She finds herself alone, shaking it on a speaker at Daisy Dukes because she’s bummed that her supposed to be boyfriend developed an on-to-the-next-one-cuz-there’s-plenty-more-where-that-came-from mentality. All the relationship power is in their possession. Ew.

Guys are like…Democrats and we’re like Republicans…who’ve lost the majority vote, been stripped of power, THROWN FROM OUR SEATS. INTO THE DARK. NO FLASHLIGHT. IT’S COLD..AND…and…

Take a breath ash.

Facebook Fairy November 17, 2010
(fay-ss-buk- fair-ee) noun – social website regulator whose job is to uphold sorority reputation by notifying member of unsanctified habits and putting an end to such habits anonymously.

What does Halloween mean? Costumes! Yay fun! (But not too much fun).
Following the Halloween season we all are reminded to please refrain from posting any pictures that are, for lack of a better phrase, slutty in nature.
Eh, actually not “for lack of a better phrase”. I very well could’ve thought of a better phrase but “slutty in nature” seems to perfectly sum it up.

Sororities don’t want to claim the girl pictured in a sequent bra and floofy petty-coat skirt that purposely falls ½ an inch below the danger zone. However, if you do happen to get caught, you’ll soon find in your inbox a message from the your sorority’s Facebook Fairy kindly suggesting to not post pictures you wouldn’t want your grandparents to see.

I mean really, have the audacity to cover up your risqué business and not cause everyone else to question their perception of morals and values.

..or you can visit your account settings, create and save a friend list of select people, then block them from various albums ;)

Cell Phone Reality November 17, 2010

Some Cell Phone Nuisances:
1. Cracked screen (iphone tendency)
2. Drunk texting
3. Not having your phonebook backed up (hence the “lost all my numbers” fbook group invite)
4. Water un-resistant (via cup, toilet, puddle, pool, etc)
5. Butt and/or purse dialing
6. Leaving it at the bar

Some Cell Phone Awesomes:
1. Apps
2. Internet access (such as during class and other instances of the like)
3. Drunk texting
4. Ringtones that help you to characterize people you’ve just met (simple ex: meet seemingly shy/innocent girl > her blackberry rings > it's Baby Got Back)
5. Fun covers
6. Calculator

Greek Life Confuse-atorium November 18, 2010
What could have been the sickest party to ever grace Rudder Auditorium, instead ended up going on as planned – a Greek Life Moratorium meeting at 7pm today. My expectations were left hugely unmatched in that I was ready for some big informative lecture about how we Greeks are out of control and all the precautions we’re planning to take. Not really even knowing what all provoked this in the first place, I found myself leaving the meeting disappointed and confused because no one acknowledged any specifics as to why we were even there.

Is it perhaps safety? That seems to be a legitimate reason to call an emergency meeting.Okay I'll respect that. No person, Greek or not, should engage in ANY hazardous activity (hazing, excessive binge drinking, illegal drugs, etc) if there’s even the slightest chance of death or serious injury.

Is it dangers such as these that are the problem at hand? Not having done a lot a research on the matter, simply because I was waiting to hear it straight from the source’s mouth at this meeting rather than from circulating rumors, I feel like maybe these are the issues that needed addressing?

Being a change agent is hard. Seriously…I mean, did you know that among some of the top things that people fear, change is among them?

My suggestion is this - someone should’ve hit the audience with some harsh reality. There’s no better way to make a person understand something than to relate to them personally. Perhaps painting a very realistic picture could put things in some serious perspective for a student, especially one who can link it to certain dangers they have found their own selves in. Yes this is hard, especially for the tellers of tragic stories, but I’m willing to bet that nothing would satisfy a victim more than the re-telling of his/her story in the hopes of saving lives. This may have been the case for c/o ’91 Aggie grad Will Oliver. He could have gone down this path but chose instead to just briefly touch on his experience with his roommate and how he died in an accidental drowning - and this is ok of course, but tugging at a person’s emotional strings can hit close to home and a lot of the time, inspire change. Change…the whole point here right?

“Tonight is supposed to be a new beginning”

Don’t tell us that. A new beginning implies that there is no past. The past is what defines this situation. What is change if we don’t have an existing platform to observe, acknowledge and learn from?

Enough lecturing. The important thing is that now we know to join the Association of Former Greeks and continue to donate money once we graduate.

My First Confessions

Sorority Seasons November 2, 2010
I can’t believe how quick this semester is moving. November already? To be honest I was oblivious to the weather change until I came across a picture on Facebook of a cell phone screen with text messages on it that read:

Northface season has arrived. TFM

Hahahahahaha. With nike shorts -TSM

Good call…

Spotted: black northface + vibrant colored nike shorts…culprit…sorority girl

Gotta love stereotypes.

Haha ohh social norms…

Walking Billboards November 3, 2010
Yea I get it. Wearing my greek letters is the equivalent of being a walking billboard. Promoting your sorority or fraternity via frattire is sort of an unsaid yet highly acknowledged thought when you’re getting dressed and you know you’re going to be around a lot of other Greeks. West Campus Library is a sea of walking billboards. There’s not one table from my cubby view that isn’t occupied by at least one sitting billboard.

I sound judge-y.
I’m not judge-y.

If I was I’d be a hypocrite. Just now I was hurrying out my apartment with my A&M book bag in tow and subliminally swapped it real quick for one with my sorority letters plastered huge on the front. Conform much?


The SB Top 3 November 8, 2010
Is it me or is TAMU’s spring break destination choice variation at an all time low? I only hear about people going to what’s known as The SB Top 3: South Padre Island, Panama City Beach or Gulf Shores, Alabama. Greeksters usually round up their greek siblings and rent a beach house all the while always sporting at least one of the following fashions; a neon fanny pack, neon koozie, plastic neon sunglasses, a neon-lettered tank top or a neon trucker hat.

Huh, Chilifest déjà vu.

Gulf Shores, Alabama 2010...

Panama City Beach, Florida 2009...

South Padre Island, Texas 2008...

Last SB I actually sold my neon hat to some random dude who offered $20 for it while on a beach in Panama.

What about Vegas…bet a hats worth more than $20 in Vegas…hmm

Language Shmanguage November 9, 2010
Greeks are getting bored with traditional English language. I mean I guess. The minute four letter words start whittling down to three letters…well, one realizes that creative boredom has struck.

For example, Fraternity Bid Day 2008 was when I was first exposed to the term “presh”. I believe a girl said something like, “omg girl that’s presh!” (catch the omg? Exhibit A). It seems silly NOW because I’m aware that she was shortening the word “precious”, however at the time, wtf? (Exhibit B) Even with me resorting to using my best context clues, I still could not decide on a meaning for presh.

Did she maybe mean fresh?
Does she know she’s saying whatever word she’s trying to say wrong?

After learning the meaning and later seeing it written as a caption on Facebook, I found that it’s most commonly spelled p-r-e-s-h.
Um that’s not how you spell precious. I don’t feel dumb now for being confused. Ha!
But I get it. Correctly abbreviating it would be prec. And well…yea…wouldn’t work :/

Abbre. November 9, 2010
Now I’m all interested and intrigued by this abbreviation business. I’m predicting right HERE, right NOW that by the year 2023 the average sentence will appear as follows:

Hy grl cn’t w8 2 prty like rkstrs all ^ & arund NG!!! Yay txt me!

Hey Girl can’t wait to party like rock stars all up and around Northgate!!! Yay, text me!

...sorry Webster, I still dig your stuff.